About Two Years Ago

Actually, I could probably trace it back to two and a half years ago because it was around Christmas or in January thereafter that I began to notice a change in my then 14 year old daughter. She was complaining about her stomach a lot and yet insisted on going to school each day. She also didn't have a fever with the stomach problems.

She seemed to have lost some of her liveliness. She was a cheerleader and it seemed she just wasn't into it the same as she had been in the past. She also seemed a bit pale and unhappy. She was disinterested in spending time with the family, but I chalked that up to becoming a teenager and spending time with friends.

More and more she complained of vomiting nearly every day as the months went on and said her stomach hurt nearly constantly.

Looking back I now realize how many of the signs and symptoms I was missing, but at the time I just didn't see what was right before my eyes. I wasn't prepared for the fight that was ahead either.

We began by seeing our regular doctor about the problem. We were then sent to a pediatric gastroenterologist. We were then sent to the gynecologist. Several co-pays later and many exams and blood tests later, we were back at the pediatric gastroenterologist. Next she would have a scope to study her inside to see if they could figure out what was going on. This would be delayed until after our trip in May.

By the end of May, when we take our annual trip to southern Illinois at the end of the school year, my younger daughter (then 11) even began to suspect that her older sister was purging. She told me so and even said that a stranger in the bathroom had commented on it. I talked to my older daughter about it, but she denied it and claimed it wasn't on purpose and she didn't know why it was happening.

I was so gullible and believed in her so much that I took her word for it. In the next few days it would become more and more difficult to believe.

After returning home, the evening before we were set to have the scope done, I was picking up in the kid's bathroom and found a razor with blood on it. I was in an immediate panic because there was blood all over the counter as well, not like a nick from shaving legs in the shower. I looked for my daughter and my husband and tried to find out what was going on. I had only heard of the term "cutting" a few weeks before on one of my soap operas that I watch. Who says soap operas have no educational value? However, I didn't know enough to withhold my panic and fear of thinking my daughter might actually want to kill herself.

She showed us her wounds. Not only the current cuts on her arms, but scars from previous cuts. She then lashed out because we had not noticed before. She asked why we didn't question her when she wore sweatshirts all the time - even when it wasn't cold out. Well, actually we had, but she claimed to always be cold and we believed her - especially considering she didn't seem to feel well at any point in time.

The next day would be the scope...and more answers.